Welcome To Commerce

Chewwin' On My Baccar, Pettin On My Dawg
Singin' My Here Fav-O-Rite Country Song.
I'm Sayin' I'm A Christian And Beaten On My Wife,
Rakin' Up Points Fur' The After Life.
I've Got A Mafia Goin' In This Here Town,
Cause I'm Bread To About Every 1 Around.
Don't Wear A Shirt Cause I'm A Country Man,
It's Mighty Fine Classy And It Makes A Good Tan.
Got Me The NASCAR Collector's Series Plates,
Hangin' In My Trailor Right Above my fireplace.
I'm In The Mood Fur' Sum Three Dollar Wine,
So I'z Head'z To The Package Store And My Mother-In-Law's Buyin'!
My Cusin'z A Cop So I Can't Go Ta Jail,
And Even If I Duz My Uncle Pays The Bail.
Loadin' Up My Truck With Ammunition And Sum Beer,
We're Gonna Have A Shin-Dig And Spot Light Sum Deer.
My Wife Sez That I'm Drunk And I'm Lazy,
So I Sez "So Wut?! Yur Fat And Yur Crazy!".
I'm 17 And My Youngins Ain't Shoed,
My Dreams Ta Bag Groceries At Quality Food.
I Just Shot Tha Dawg After Drinkin' A Beer,
Mamas Out Back Dressin' The Deer.
Thought I'd Buy A Septic Tank, Got Drunk Instead,
So I Just Dug Me A Ditch And Let It Flow Behind The Shed.
Well Therz My Friend Steven,
That Boy Just Ain't Rite,
Every Move He Makes Flies Take Flight.
Headed To Town To Hear Anderson Play,
Got An Hour Ta Get Drunk Fur Tha Firework Display.
That Jerry Springer Put This Community On The Map,
Can't Figure Out Them Youngins Listenin' To That Trashy Rap.
My Kids Eat Dirt, My Hounds Are Gay,
The IRS Sez I Owe Them Money But The Hell If I'll Pay.
Just Last Week Three Nephues Drownd,
When They Drove Their Truck Into A Lake And Couldn't Get The Tailgate Down.
There'z A Bench Warrant Out Fur My Arrest,
So I'll Grow Me Sum Beard, Mustache And Breasts.
Just Saw Wrestlin' On TV Ta-Nite,
So I Went To My Neighbor's Yard And Picked A Fight.
Commerce Is So Great Ya Just Wanna Shout,
We'll Make It Soze U Never Get Out!